Sometimes, it’s hard…

As we go through life, we face many challenges and losses. Some days are just going to be more challenging than others. I am having one of those days…

My dad passed away on February 7, 2024. He was 95 years old.

The last few years of his life had been challenging as I watched him slowly decline in health.

He had suffered from spinal stenosis and slowly but surely lost his ability to walk, and he became bedridden.

With me living in Arizona and he in California, I would try to visit as much as possible, and he was always happy to see me.

However, I could see the changes happening with each visit, and he remained very optimistic.

I grew up in the 1960s, and our family was very traditional. My mom became a stay-at-home mom, and my dad sometimes worked two or three jobs. My memories of him at that time are minimal.

As I got older, I remember my dad being very involved in my upbringing as he became financially stable with one job…. a teacher. My mom was also a teacher, and with my two older brothers, we moved to California from Colorado for a better life.

I remember my dad waking us each morning for school and ensuring we had a good breakfast.

He also ensured that he was home soon after we got out of school and insisted that we do our homework before doing anything else. It was my mom’s turn to put in her appointed time as an elementary school teacher, and we rarely saw her before 5:30 in the afternoon.

Before I married and had my son, my dad was not very demonstrative and had trouble showing his feelings with hugs and kisses.

My son changed that for him.

I saw my larger-than-life dad melt when my son showed his grandpa affection. My boy was the one who got my dad to kiss, hug, and say, “I love you,” and not just to him. Slowly but surely, my dad’s emotional barrier became non-existent.

When my marriage fell apart, my dad was there for us. When I suffered a deep depressive episode, my dad was there. My dad was there when I struggled financially to provide a stable home for my son and me.

My dad always told me in a crisis, “It’s all going to be okay…I promise. ” I always believed him… and more importantly, he was always right!

My dad was there for my son and stepped in as his surrogate father. He provided a stable environment with fluency and consistency. My dad loved his grandson with every fiber of his being.

When my son had his son, my dad was there for him, too. He developed such a bond with his first great-grandson as he did with his grandson.

When my son returned to college to get his master’s degree, my dad was the proudest I think I had ever seen. Education was huge for my dad, and my son was the first in the family to obtain such prestige.

You’re probably wondering why I am writing about such personal feelings as this on a, for the lack of a better word, “business” blog.

I think it’s important to share our vulnerable side with people. It helps to provide insight into who we are … where we come from… and how the challenges in life can affect the decisions we make for our future.

My dad believed in me. He didn’t always understand the paths I’d chosen, but he always supported my decisions to travel down those paths. I wanted to make my dad proud of me… and truly felt he was.

I may not be a financial success… yet, but I always hoped to show him my results before he left.

I believe in life after death.

I believe in guardian angels.

I believe my dad will be my angel in heaven who will watch over me and continue to guide me through the rest of my life.

He will see my success and be proud that I persevered in working towards my dream of financial independence.

My dad is my strength, and I know he will always be there to say, “It’s all going to be okay… I promise. ”

Writing this post has been very cathartic for me, and I hope, if nothing else, that you enjoyed reading it. Some of you will most definitely relate to my experience or perhaps thinking ahead about the inevitability of losing a parent or loved one.

I hope I have provided some insight into myself and the person I aim to be as I continue learning and growing through this life journey.

If you’re curious to know more about me, and you haven’t already, please read “My Story” to find my purpose and why I am here.

 

If you enjoy reading my blog, consider subscribing to my FREE NEWSLETTER to be notified when I write a new post. I promise I won’t spam you or flood your inbox with nonsense.

As always,

Stay Curious, Stay Inspired. And, Stay True

Vanessa

19 thoughts on “Sometimes, it’s hard…”
  1. Vanessa,
    I’m truly sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an amazing man who cherished his family. Reading your post gave me such a warm feeling – it’s evident how much love he brought into your life. I lost my dad when I was young, and I often wish he could have seen more of my journey. I believe your dad is still watching over you, being your biggest cheerleader. Thank you for sharing your honesty and openness. Looking forward to your next post!
    Sherri

  2. Hi Vanessa,
    I’m very sorry for your loss.🙏 I’m turning 60 and my mom isn’t doing well at all right now either.

    First of all, I went back to your about me. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! Tell me your secret! 😉 I also feel we have to be ourselves and let people really know who we are. We’re not those scammers out there, they have put a bad taste in so many people. I know it’s not going to be easy for us, but we will get there, they will know, like and follow us, for being us.
    Thanks for your honesty, you will get there…
    Sandy

  3. Vanessa, that was a beautiful blog and thank you for being so open and transparent. I’d like to pass my condolences to you and your family at the loss of your father. May he rest in peace always. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things that we have to see and feel in our lives. The last few years has been very tough for us as within 18 months my wife’s mum, dad and my mum all passed away. My children lost three grandparents in 18 months. Most recently my mum passed away in July 2022 after a long battle with Parkinson’s disease. Even though the loss of our parents hurts it’s okay because we had them, we are blessed to be with them. I wish you and your family peace and health. It’s after losing mum that I really changed the focus of my life in terms of getting away from the 9 to 5 and to build an online business where we can be financially free and have the lifestyle that me and my family want. I wish you all the best take care until next time. Thanks, Atif

  4. Hi, Vanessa! I am very sorry for your loss. It does help to know our loved ones still exist and are happily watching over us. I recently lost my mother-in-law, and in the past couple of weeks, I’ve found out two more people in my family are very sick. I understand what you say about knowing time is running out. Life seems to have become very fragile. I try to focus not on the less time in the years ahead but on how much value is potentially within the next hour and week to come. I hope that makes sense. I am a work in progress in this area. I don’t quite have the words figured out… I’m glad you have such a great relationship with your family. I like to think I haven’t really lost anything. Mamma just changed, and as she’s watching over me, I see her more now than ever. My best hopes for you and your family.

    1. Hi Nakina, I’m very sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law and for the family members who you discovered are very sick. Sometimes life just sucks but we have to find a way to get through the losses of others and go on. My dad would always say, “You can’t stop living when life gets in the way…life always goes on.” I think it’s a good idea that we focus on how much value we put on the years we have left. Thank you so much for your kind words.

  5. Hi Vanessa, oh this post sits close to my heart. I lost my dad just weeks ago on Jan 5th, he was 91. He declined rapidly from Christmas day and it was the hardest to watch. Our family will miss him forever but we are relieved for him he is no longer struggling with all the issues he had and is now reunited with so many who went before him that he truly missed. We know he is watching over us. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience and I’m glad it was cathartic for you doing so. Be gentle with yourself and take care. Your dad will be watching over you so proud of how you are making your dreams come true 😊
    https://karenelissabeth.com/website-traffic-organic-vs-paid/

    1. Awww, Karen I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. The loss is still very fresh for you as well. I’ve not really experienced the loss of such a close relationship so I am struggling. I know I’m not alone and that gives me comfort. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Hello Vanessa. Thank you for sharing such an incredible story. I’m sorry for your loss, and I can truly empathize because I felt the same when I lost my mother. I believe that those we’ve lost still care for us from a better place, follow our journey, and wish to see us successful and happy.

    1. Sasha, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. My mom is still here, barely so I will go through this again probably not too far into the near future. It’s not fun and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

  7. First and foremost, I absolutely DID enjoy reading your post. Of course I want to offer my deepest condolences to you and your family in the passing of your father. He sounds like an amazing human-now-turned-angel. It’s hearing about people like this that make us all want to be better humans. Your message reminds us all that we should want to live in such a way that the people we leave behind will think of us the same way you do about your father… with ultimate love, respect, and appreciation.

    I absolutely agree with you that by sharing your recent experience, you are sharing a vulnerable side of yourself that benefits your followers. Many of us have experienced loss such as this and it helps when we know that we are not alone.

    Lastly… there’s ZERO doubt in my mind that your father is beyond proud of you… and will be looking down on you as you grow your affiliate marketing journey.

  8. as a grandad myself I can fully understand how your Dad changed when he saw your son,…. I know I have such a strong love for mine. I feel that as a grandad, it is important for me to be encouraging of my grandchildren and to let them know that they can achieve great things if they put their mind to it. There is so much negative pressure on young western folk today, Grandparents can be the ones that make them understand the important and lasting. I look forward to hearing how your journey goes.

    1. Tony, I completely agree with you. When I’m able to visit my grandbabies, I spend as much quality time as I can with them. I think it’s so important that they know who we are and hopefully instill some life-skills for them.

  9. Thanks for sharing your dad and his life with us. Today is the anniversary of my husband’s death 4 years ago. Today is an introspective day, one that brings me closer to the real meaning of life.

  10. Vanessa, I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an amazing person, and the relationship you had with him was so special. My condolences to you and your family. I am sure he is so proud of the person you are and the journey you are taking.

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